It’s three o' clock in the morning and I suddenly wake up with all the answers to our country's ills. They're not your typical run-of the-mill remedies. In fact, they're more like several doses of shock therapy, so brace yourselves for my prescription.
Strolling around the halls of my alma mater a couple days ago, I noticed how most every student seemed to dress like a regular fashion model. Tops, bottoms, belts, lunchboxes - you name it. Then it finally hit me: the solution to the city's "billboard crisis" in the aftermath of Typhoon "Milenyo" AND the declining quality of education in the country all rolled into one! Why not have all fashion designers’ and retailers' new merchandise showcased in primary and high schools and especially college campuses? That way, they can save ad space, have their goods modeled in public AND young people would actually GO to school to see what's new in fashion. In most industrialized countries of the 21st century anyway, the educational institution is the new haven of big-name fashion outfits and advertisers.
What about choices for the annual school field trip? Oh, that's a no-brainer, I tell you! I was on my first visit to the largest ever mall in the country when I saw pint-sized primary school kids being herded into neat little lines by their teachers, parents and guardians. How inspired that counting how many branches of the same fast food restaurants that can be found inside that mall, analyzing its design schemes and navigating one's way through its numerous drives can be adapted as lessons in mathematics, art and geography. Our museums plus other educational and cultural heritage sites will have to be a little more competitive and market-savvy to retain their share of young visitors. Our malls are going to be the new alternatives to shaping and challenging the minds of our young people.
How do we solve our unemployment problem? We will have a win-win situation in our hands if we hire unemployed people as our traffic aides. With megaphones and uniforms, they will have the task of guiding pedestrians and reminding us of traffic rules and signs we don’t read anyway. Of course, we can always employ them as street sweepers and assign one on each and every street in the metro. That way, their presence will be a constant nagging reminder of how lazy we are just throwing candy wrappers, fruit peelings and junk food bags into our streets instead of the trash bin nearest us.
How can we drastically reduce traffic in different key cities? One, city folk can work on rotating shifts, like they do in our call centers. (We’d also feel like the virtual “call center capital” of the world then.) Two, our law-makers should legislate the trading of those bulky SUVs and luxury vehicles for that ubiquitous Italian mode of transportation: the lithe and compact two-wheeled Vespa. Small wheels fit small streets JUST nicely, don’t you think? Oh, and they should look into permanently assigning bus and some cab drivers in Manila as MRT train drivers. That way, these drivers-from-hell don’t have to cut off, overtake and get into nasty fights with other drivers, make sudden unexpected stops or turns AND they’d get to drive the fastest hot rod in the metro to boot!
Lastly, what do we do with our government? It’s simple: let life imitate art, then! Reality TV shows are the way to go. Since everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame, actor-wannabes should do government so they can have all the interviews, debates, sound bytes and scandals they want. The thing is, since we take pride in our country being a democracy, we dutiful Filipino citizens will just have to boot out of office those who just don’t do their jobs well or at all. We’ve had practice before, anyway.
"A personal perception of too much change in too short a period of time" is how sociologist and futurologist Alan Toffler described “future shock” in his controversial 1970 book of the same name. Isn’t THAT better than not getting anything done because of our so-called Pinoy ”mañana” habit of delaying action until the very last minute? As for me, crazy times call for crazy measures. Now let me go back to sleep.
That way, they can save ad space, have their goods modeled in public AND young people would actually GO to school to see what's new in fashion. 
