m a n i l a g i r l

When stuck in a rut, the easiest thing to change always seems to be one's hair. Shave it, trim it, curl it, dye it, etc., etc. - tell your stylist what you want and you've got it! Against a paranoid warning I had read before saying not to mess with one's hair when is one is in a state of turmoil, I just went to a haircutters' place one afternoon with a zen-like calm and an unflinching resolve to have a pixie cut. Finally, with hair that comes down just to my nape, my head feels infinitely lighter and my shampoo and conditioner last way longer than their commercials on TV!

No one save myself, my sister, her best friend and a mate in art class, though, seem to be happy with the new 'do. (A well-meaning gay friend went as far as prescribing wax for me to style it and nonchalantly throwing in a "scientifically-proven" fact about more men liking women with long hair!) When people just casually point to your hair and acknowledge that you've had it cut but don't say you LOOK nicer, beware! Haha, they're just being "polite".

Other people LIKING the "new you" isn't really the point. Sure, the compliments could boost you up, but in the end, it all boils down to how much YOU needed the change and how you live with it. As writing guru Natalie Goldberg says: "Sometimes there is no way around it - we are boring and we are sick of ourselves, our voice and the usual material we write about. It's obvious that if even if going to a cafe to write doesn't help, it is time to find other ways. Dye your hair green, paint your nails purple, get your nose pierced, dress as the opposite sex, perm your hair...You need to do something you don't usually do...Wear all white and a stethoscope around your neck - whatever it takes to simply see the world from another angle."

With the compelling urge I had to have my hair cut (absolutely no if's or but's about it), I am coming to a better understanding why artists can just "wig out" (urbandictionary.com meaning no. 4: "to trip out or act in a strange/weird way") and go from one drastic change to another. They're simply looking for inspiration...for that "different angle". Every once in a while, we experience that gnawing feeling that just won't go away, just won't quiet down no matter how many different meditation tactics or even distractions we employ. We can't seem to write, study, experience the taste of our favorite food with the same pure, unadulterated bliss as before or create our art as we "want" to. That's when it pays to listen to our own inner "change freaks" and consider our options. We can never predict whether a snip-and-cut of the hair or some other act of "wigging out" will do us good and take us out of the ruts we find ourselves in. But that ONE simple ACT of change - a testament to our own selves that we WANT to MOVE FORWARD - is truly worth the risk.